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Veronica it wasnt my father that abused me it was the father of my oldest son. I became a mommmy at 14!!!  right after that I moved in with him.
My stepfather is THE MOST WONDERFUL man in the world. He in my eyes is daddy even if he is not my biological father.
There are good men out there and I agree with that divorce in not the end of the world. It took me 17yrs to find my prince charming!! LOL
Hang in there girlie, but if you need to vent by all means we are here to listen!! xoxo---

Hi Veronica,  How is your left breast feeling?  Did you call the PS?  I hope the infection is gone.   I am so sorry this is happening to you.   From what you have said, I think you already know the answers to your questions, you just need to believe it!  I\'m so glad you are careful about not bringing a child into this.  I commend you for not thinking a child would save things.   Please take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing!  No need to say you don\'t want to be negative, we are hear for you and girl, this is more than negativity!!  Glad you felt you could share with us.   I\'ve never been abused, but I\'m hear to listen if you need.  Hugs!!!  Oh, and I just wanted to tell you you ARE worth better!!!  Did I mention you are WORTH more?   You are WORTH it.   Hey, you are WORTH so much more!  Ok, and now 5th time.. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS!!!  I say it five times because I have heard for every negative comment it takes 5 to help you believe otherwise.   I know you probably need more, so tell yourself!!! Ok, take care! HUGS!!!!!!!---

Hon,
My hubby was very supportive.  He had to care for the kids while I was healing.  He made burned spam for dinner one night.  

This man you are married to is not honoring the vows you took.  Marraige is work but it takes two to want to work on it.  He doesn\'t want to work and he\'s going to stay that way.  Hitting you is a very serious thing.  The good Lord didn\'t put you here to be beaten.  You were smart not to have kids with him. Honey, take some free advice - put money aside and when possible get out.  It will be hard but he\'s not going to change and it will get worse before it gets better.  Start making plans and be prepared to leave when you can.  You\'re in the thoughts and prayers of lots of women here!  

Take care.---

>> Thanks so much girls. You are my support system.
>>
>> It is great to confirm that there are great men out there but how come i
>> never meet one (LOL). Actually, I must say that i did but he passed away.
>> We had a great relationship. Never argued. He was a gentleman.
>>
>> It gets very tricky here. We bought a home together.....though, he put all
>> the money (inital payment). My name is on the deed and was going to help
>> him with the mortage with half the monthly mortage. I am still so stupid
>> to think that I am going to "ruin" him if I do this....I have to think of
>> myself. He is a son of divorced parents who grew up looking at his dad
>> belittle women.
>>
>> I wish he were not like this. He has other qualities that made me stuck
>> with him. Unlike my father, he is a very responsible and generous person
>> (He gave me money for my rhino and veneers. He took out a loan for my
>> breasts which i am supposed to pay). Unlike my father, he does not drink
>> much and is not a womanizer. I kept saying that these qualities were
>> great.....and tried to shield and minimize his abuse. I have seen other
>> friends\' boyfriends cheat on them openly and abuse them too. So I thought
>> i did not have it that bad. However, you confirmed that there is more out
>> there than only selfish men.
>> This has gotten too far and now I must leave him. I should have known that
>> when he told me that he had been fired by women bosses because he would not
>> allow any WOMAN to boss him around...right then and there I knew he had no
>> respect for women but as I said above the other qualities made me convince
>> myself that he was the best i could get.
>> Anyway, I have been saving some money and will leave as soon as I find a
>> room in NYC. Unfortunately my family is pretty far and cannot stay with my
>> dad and see his blatant disrespect to my mom. My sister says that I have a
>> bad temper and that I call for it. Seriously, my own sister!
>> Thanks a lot girls....I AM WORTH IT........six times.....ten times!
>>
>> Love you all!

I\'m not siding with your sister by any means however, if she feels you have a temper there must be something there.  Please get help, read books what ever it takes to curb your temper.  I\'m glad to hear you\'re saving money to get out.  As far as the finances go quit claim the house over to him.  It takes you off the deed.  As far as the note goes he\'ll have to refinance the house to take it out of your name.  Force that through the courts.  You do NOT want to stay on the note.  If he screws up it goes on YOUR credit.  I can\'t believe he took out a loan and YOU have to pay it back.  My hubby makes ALL the money but it\'s OURS.  We\'ve never played that your money, my money game.  Some people it works for them but I\'ve never liked it.  However, both hubby and I are responsible with the finances so we trust each other.  Try not to go back home.  It won\'t help you get healthy if you\'re around the dysfunction of your dad.  Stop the cycle, be a bigger person, and always strive for better.  I did!  Trust me, you CAN be happy but it\'s up to YOU.  Good luck, Merri---

>> Hi,
>>
>> This is Veronica, the one who had an infection on her left breast and was
>> miracously saved from removing it. Your support and prayers were really
>> appreciated and reason for my betterment.
>>
>> I should say that I feel much much better. I can get up without someone
>> helping and am not taking vicotin anymore. Though, i miss how it made
>> feel.......now I am grouchy.lol
>>
>> Anyway, I am very sad and want to vent about what just happened to me with
>> my husband of 8 months. We went to a chinese wedding and as it was ending,
>> another couple invited us to have drinks in their home. Hubby put me on
>> the spot and asked me right in front of them, if I wanted to go..with
>> that, what else can I say..so I said yes we will go.
>>
>> So, I started arguing in the car that he should NEVER put me on the spot
>> that he knew i am still not FULLY recuperated was tired and needed to feed
>> my dog. He accused me of being miserable.....all together saying put
>> downs.
>> But what i am more upset is that he hit me in my left breast the one that
>> got infected and was extremely painful and was about to come out. He hit
>> me hard. It hurt me a lot. I still have some tiny pain from it.
>> In essence I think it is my fault for marrying someone who never gave me
>> emotional support. Even when I was in such excrutiating pain, he would
>> yell at me and tell me : "STop complaining. I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO IT". He
>> would not rub me and say that everything would be ok. I had to go to the
>> emergency room with my sister. He refused to go.....he wanted the implant
>> out. I was so sad to confirm that in "sickness" he was not following in
>> his vows.
>> What the worst thing tonite was that as we were arguing he HIT me in my
>> left breast (the one that was infected and gave me much problem). I am
>> floored and totally numb, but then again I am the only one to blame. I
>> knew what an ANIMAl he was. He pushed me to the flooor when I had my
>> rhinoplasty. I almost fell on my nose with my cast on. He did not care.  
>>
>> Every day i think of ways of leaving him. Having my beautiful breasts
>> makes me happier within myself to go out and find someone who is
>> emotionally there.
>> THat is why I am being careful NOT TO HAVE KIDS with him.
>>
>> Sorry to vent girls.
>> I love you all for your great support. I wanted to ask you:
>> Are all men not emotionally there? Can you tell me how your hubbies gave
>> you support or had lack of it? I hope that hit and the stress that i have
>> will not lead to another infection.



Baby Girl,

You do not deserve that and he does not deserve YOU. I know it is hard to leave someone you care about no matter how badly they treat you.  I\'ve been there and unfortunately I had my first 2 children with him.:_(  BIG MISTAKE!!! We love you hear and don\'t want anything to happen to you.xoxo  Get a way from him as fast as possible.NO!  If he will do something like that, he will do worse! Don\'t trust him and trust what you are feeling inside. No one who loves you would try to hurt you or knowing that you just had some bad stuff going on with your breast, risk hurting you any further than the infection already has. I am so sorry you had to go through that.:_(  You will never forget it but you can make sure it never happens again!!!NO!

All my love,

Shavonne---

V,   Why you married him is not important.  What is, is that no physical abuse is warranted in any situation.  Its only been 8mo. LEAVE!!!  You have no ties so there is no reason why you can\'t LEAVE NOW!!  How do you do it?  Get you stuff and walk out the door.  Doesn\'t matter if its your house or not.  The important thing is that you remove yourself from the negative and threatening situation.  

Are all men so insensative?  NO!! I am the most emotional person I know and my husband (14yrs strong) is very supportive to my needs and wants.  You can find someone who will treat you the way you deserve.

I am so sorry you are in this position but you must put yourself and well-being first.  If you feel you can\'t face divorce now, separate and give yourself time to think and heal in a less stressful environment.  Good luck baby, I will have you in my prayers;-)---

Okay I am going to be brutally honest ..................LEAVE NOW!  FOR GOOD!  It doesn\'t matter how much you think you love him or he you, if he is hitting and shoving you around that is your key to get out!  Or get him out and file a complaint so he cannot come back.  That is horrible to hear that, it makes me soooo angry I am red in the face.  All men are not like that, unfortunately my first husband was not nice, but my husband now is a dream, amazing, I couldn\'t say enough good about him.  He is there for all my ups and downs.  I am sorry you are going through this, but you have to know you shouldn\'t be........you need to right this!---